After my Sunday afternoon tour of hell thru the emergency room back door, my expectation was the Monday would be the beginning of my quick return to normal life. Boy, how wrong I was…
After a very long , uncomfortable night spent trying to sleep on the couch due to not being unable to maneuver stairs with crutches, by dawn I was ready to ditch the crutches; so bathroom bound, it would be crutch-less! Slowly rising from the couch I thought this was going to be a breeze. Little did I know how slippery hard wood floors could be say nothing about how hard they are when taking a header!!! Part of the hard part, I guess…
It was then crawling to the bathroom became my new mode of transportation! That’s when those swelled, discolored toes came into view as sliding to my destination on my ass; hands and knees just didn’t work!
By now you may have figured out that running to Mommy for help wasn’t high on my problem solving list! So the wheels started to turn. Let’s just say I see toes too big for cast, we’ll expand the cast with a plastic bag over the cast and one crutch , to the shop we went cause I remembered what that nurse said about the coat hanger. Thing is you can’t cut with that, but a hack saw blade, now that’s another story!!!
While in the shop I found an old pair of tin snips, and old hunting knife, before going for the hack saw blade! As with anything, if you’re going to get caught it should be with an old blade so took the old blade off the saw and put a new one on and slipped the old blade in my pocket and headed toward the house.
On the way I stopped to grab some of my toys from storage! My plan was to set up camp in the back room with some toys, making it look like I was amusing myself when someone came to check on me…Yeah, right! We’ll just take our tools and open up this cast so my toes can breathe and I can itch my damned leg!
By week’s end that up to the knee cast was well below the knee…like say four inches and you could see my toes real good along with half of my foot as for that big green knob to walk on…whoops, it fell off!
Should have sharpened that knife while in the shop, that baby was dull… With school starting in two days the question was cut it all off or school rules, use crutches!!!
Still feeling abit of pain, it was suffer through a couple weeks of school with crutches; by then I had it! Kids are cruel and stupid, they would always try to trip me up on the stairs even! So over that weekend all that remained of said cast was a four inch ankle bracelet.
At the time I had moccasins which was able to get on, walked with a limp but in shoes with no crutches four weeks after breaking it and I don’t think it bothered any one cause it was well, guess you can start milking again>>>Which I did with a plastic wrapper over what cast was left, ’cause you can’t go back to the doctor to get it taken off. Wonder who said that? Oh, yeah, I did go back to see the doctor!
When walking in to his office after waiting for way too long again, after his ‘ what can I do for you’, Mother began this speech on how I’d taken it off ’cause it bothered me so, and never told anyone. I pulled my pant leg up and with my shit ass grin asked if he wanted to take it or do I!
Must be he felt obligated so he had me get on the table so he could buzz it off! After, he asked about pain and movement, telling me how much trouble was ahead and should likely get x-rays. Maybe he could break it again to reset and get my foot to a better position!
My Mother said she would discuss it with my Father, then we’d all get together and have tea, I guess!
Did it happen? No…Do I care? No…Does it hurt? Yeah, but if you’re living your life to the fullest, what doesn’t???