Well, we are home…I am sure my Farmer and I agree that we both had a wonderful time…
After 46 years, we got to really know each other…we had some long talks about those years…the good and the bad…mostly things we all take for granted. Sadly.
The photo of him in front of Mt. Rushmore is by far my favorite of the last 18 days. He had walked all the way from the parking lot to the terrace where the closest photos of the men can be taken.
Then he had a great conversation with another vacationer while I was in the gift shop; which only added to the magic of the mountain.
The next day was when I noticed him having trouble walking…while visiting a civil war cemetery he was using his walking stick and noticeably dragging his left foot. It was getting bad enough that I was afraid he would trip himself up.
But I would just tell him to take his time and pick up his foot a little higher… he did this with no complaints.
But it was getting to him and shortly thereafter he wanted to head home. No regrets about the decision…we had both been away long enough.
Last night he fell in the kitchen due to the fact that his left side has gotten very weak over the past few days…I just think neither one of us realized how weak. I had a hard time getting him up but succeeded in getting him to his bed.
Getting up in the night was not to be achieved but was dealt with…However, he could not stand up at all this morning…the left side isn’t cooperating at all. I am praying it is from the long road trip causing fatigue…but we both know better.
Most all of the kids have been here today to see him…he tells them how proud he is of them…each different from the next…but oh, so proud. The depth of his love for them is spoken without hesitation.
Tears are shed freely…my Farmer says his mind is perfect but his body is failing him. He doesn’t have the strength to fight the way he should ( I am hoping that will change)… his cancer is talking to him, telling him it is winning.
But this is too quick…he has no pain…his anxiety is building. We talked about this happening and how we would deal with it when it did..but not this soon.
Taking time for granted is a big mistake but one we have made. Dear God, please give him strength and understanding…we are not giving up on him this quick so please show us how to accept this as my Farmer has. I ask that You help him keep some dignity.
I will write some more tomorrow… Thank you for being a part of our journey… it means more than you know…
P.S. Our daughter-in-law just brought a motorized wheelchair for my Farmer… thank you Ike Powers and Allison.